Friday, February 17, 2006

No snogging in class!

Lord preserve us, there’s another ban on the way. Every now and then the EC or some moralistic body decides to ban something in the name of decency. The EC usually try to ban bent cucumbers or dodgy sausages, presumably on the grounds that we might get saucy ideas from looking at them? I kid you not. I have a vague memory that they also tried to ban small condoms in case they offended anyone.

Anyway, today’s papers are full of this. New guidelines want to stop kids in plays at schools from doing love scenes, in case they are exploited. Now when I was at school the raunchiest scenes our plays did were Mary kissing Joseph on the cheek in the Nativity. (Though I am convinced one of the shepherds “accidentally” on purpose brushed against one of the sheep. That wasn’t in the script). It’s ridiculous. Kids know the difference between acting and real life, and if teachers are asking them to do plays that call for sex scenes and nudity, as reported, then the teachers should be banned! Stopping pretend kisses on the grounds that kids are open to abuse is just crazy. And how else will the prettiest girl in school get together with the handsomest boy? It’s the law that they have to play Romeo and Juliet and spread the joys of budding romance round the school. I don’t remember them being required to get jiggy with it as well.

I once worked in a carrot factory in my holidays. A lot of carrots often looked rather like genitalia. Are they going to ban them next?

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