Saturday, September 12, 2009

Holidaying in Essex

Due to lack of funds this year, we just had 4 days in a caravan by the seaside in Essex. I don't think we will be doing it again, staying at home for a week seems preferable at the minute. The "high"lights were:

1) Eating lunch and being disturbed by local druggies arguing over a stolen phone. This included much cursing and "swearing on my kid's life" that the man with the phone bought it "legitimately" off a girl's one night stand who handily nicked most of her stuff in the morning before he left...

2) Walking along the beach and stumbling upon a topless granny trying to top up her tan. This might have worked in Magaluf. Not in a very breezy sunless Essex seaside with the tide coming in.

3) Going out for tea to the local pub and disturbing a bunch of kids smoking dope on the pub climbing frame and blatantly making drug deals on their mobiles. As my 2 year old was breathing in their smoke I got them chucked out and then had husband refuse to speak to me for getting involved. Would he rather we had to deal with a 2 year old on a comedown than say anything?! I am 35. They were probably 16. They can bloody well sod off to the local bus stop and do their drug dealing.

4) The "entertainment" at the park in the evening involved 2 very young and camp reps trying to get a reaction out of about 7 bored and fed up holidaymakers. But we did trounce the competition in a tv themes quiz and won a clock. Lovely. We didn't dare go back after that as they looked quite cross.

5) Spending god knows how much money trying to win a teddy for littl'un on those machines where you have to pick them up with a scoop thing and hope they don't fall off. We didn't win one, they are so fixed. It would have been cheaper to just go to a shop and buy one.

6) Being invaded by ants on our first night. They were marching under the door up 3 big steps into the caravan and we were in peril of being bitten to death. Littl'un enjoyed stomping on the incursion and then a handy application of fairy liquid along the doorframe seemed to stop them for the rest of the holiday.

And the lesson is? Stick with Cornwall, it may be further but it seems to have less druggies and random freaks. Everybody we saw was either disabled, on drugs, drunk, or clearly on the social with several little kids clinging to them while their druggie dad was arguing with someone else. Classy.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Late night munching

So some highly paid boffins have just published a study which says that "eating late at night = weight gain". Honestly, did they really need a study to show that?! How do people get paid to come up with doing studies like this?! It's like asking me to study if pregnancy = weight gain. In fact I am going to submit my proposal to some scientific board and my expenses will be "cookies, ice cream, crisps" and in about 8/9 months I can prove my theory :)