Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Pirate rage

And when I was in the doctor's asking advice (basically "stop taking the pill" - gee thanks), a little boy was in there with a lego pirate. He had lost his little pirate hat somewhere in the surgery and everything stopped until someone found it. At least they appreciate pirates at my doctors!

No sex please we're British

So I started a new pill last week. In the space of just over a week I have had the following side-effects:

Uncontrolled rage
Dizzy spells
Blurred vision (especially handy when doing 70mph in the fast lane with 2 kids in the back)
Massive appetite

So I can conclude that as a contraceptive it is doing a blinding job. Mr Babs doesn't dare even look at me at the moment!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Brits

I caught the last hour of the Brits tonight and for the first time in a long time (well since they axed Top of the Pops) the music acts actually seemed like they were playing live, and that they were having a lovely time! Of course, it probably was all amazing miming, surely nobody is allowed to perform live anymore, but it looked good and took me back to the good old days of wondering if dangerous drugged up musicians trusted with microphones were going to swear!

And the one good thing about the night was that Take That didn't bring along the naked bottoms. Though I didn't see all of it, they might have been on early! I have escaped Take That for at least a month, I didn't automatically recoil when they came on the tv! Result.

And I love Arcarde Fire. But I haven't actually bought their album yet, I got Kings of Leon instead and I am ashamed. Sorry lovely Arcarde Fire. I will, I will. That is all.


We thought we'd escaped another visit from my Inappropriate Relative for a while after two visits in the last two months. Then last night we got a phone call announcing another visit. Next week for half term. And this is despite me saying we had lots of plans with Littl'un's friends and were busy all week. "Oh, we'll just fit round you" was the response. I am not cancelling any plans, with school now it is so hard to find the time to do anything fun, and I had plans for a couple of lazy days where we didn't even have to leave the house. Now that is all down the toilet. 

I have decided it is time to bite the bullet and actually say something. We have bitten our tongues for well over 10 years, more recently since we had the boys and they come down every other month (or more!). The problem is it is my stepmother. It makes it all the more complicated. But my dad manages to totally ignore all her bad behaviour, so maybe it is my time to cause some trouble. We can't keep on living like this, dreading the next visit and then moaning about it for weeks after!! If I cause offense it's about bloody time. I just don't want to hurt my dad.

If anyone has any advice for me, how do you tell your dad his wife is a nightmare?! And that they are not visiting every time we have some time off!! I know they want to see their grandkids (not that I count her as their grandma really!), but perhaps their dad and me might like to spend some time with them too - just us! Is that too much to ask?!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Clear as mud

It was our wedding anniversary last weekend, 6 long years (only joking!) and the highlight was sending Littl'un to his nan's for the weekend to give us some peace for a change (not joking!). Anyway, when he came back he asked what the cards were for, and I thought I explained quite clearly about weddings and anniversaries. He looked like he got it. Then half an hour later he said "mummy, why did you and daddy get married when I was at nannies?" Bless his little heart, he looked quite upset!

Then yesterday he was messing around with my mobile which was locked and said "look mummy, 999!" - luckily it didn't dial automatically so I was able to cancel it. I thought again I explained quite well about calling 999 if there is ever an emergency - he's 4 now, he should be able to phone for help if I knock  myself out with the iron or something! Then when we got home from school he said "can I phone the firemen now?". It's a slippery slope to arson in the bedroom just to see a fire engine...

And I really need to work on my explanations!

Tuesday, February 01, 2011


So who in the name of Terry Wogan decided they would let Blue represent us this year? And write the song?! Jesus Christ we have no chance. At all. They should have gone with Wagner. Unless Blue sleep with the whole of Europe between now and May, we really have zero chance. Though that isn't too unrealistic is it?!


And another "highlight" of the weekend was my inappropriate relative. We were just sitting down to dinner, me and Mr Babs had a tikka masala curry which has a very bright red sauce. As we were just about to tuck in, she looked straight at Mr Babs and said "oh I wasn't getting a cold earlier, it was the OTHER thing" and pointed at her crotch. EEEWWWWW!! Who in their right mind refers to their periods at mealtimes, or even AT ALL in polite company?!?! And we didn't even know she thought she was getting a cold as she spent most of the day hungover. At a child's birthday party. Then she told another member of the family that they needed to go for a number two straight after dinner!!

I could go on, but I need to go and have a cry...

Terrible fours

The minute Littl'un turned 4 he turned into Devil Child! Honestly. By breakfast time I had nearly cancelled all the festivities. He walked into the lounge, looked at all the pirate banners and balloons and said "why are they all pirates?" And that was just the start of it. His nan says it is as he is getting all the attention for a change, which makes me feel quite guilty, but honestly, it makes me glad we didn't decide to keep him as an only child. He started calming down on Sunday when everyone left, and is kind of back to normal. It could also have been all the sweets and cake! Luckily they are all banned now :)

He is so not having a birthday next year. They are cancelled.