Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Single mums

Back in the park again over the weekend I had the pleasure of overhearing these conversations. To set the scene, there were 2 girls, probably about 17 or 18 at a guess. One, let's call her Tracey, had 2 kids, one new baby about 3 months wedged into a swing in full view of the sun, another older kid asleep in a buggy. Her mate, let's say Britney, had a toddler, who for most of the time was running around being totally ignored by her mother.

Tracey, when first encountered is on the phone: "Alright babes, how's it goin? Yeah? Sweet. Listen, it's a luvverly day 'ere, 'ow about we meet up tomorrow, have a day of it like a real family? No? You're real busy? Alright, no worries....erm....do you fink you will want to stay over tonight? ...No? No worries, see ya".

Then Britney comes over. Tracey says to her: "ow's about we meet up again tomorrow? Be nice for the kids, 'eh?". Britney pauses and says, "Oh I dunno. I've never spent a whole day wiv me boyfriend before and he says he can see me tomorrow." 

Poor Tracey looks crestfallen. Those poor kids have no chance. No chance at all. And I really wanted to turn round to them and say "your boyfriends are just using you for sex whenever they want, and you keep getting bloody pregnant, what is wrong with you?!?!". 

Maybe it's me who is wrong? This world is going mad. We went to a different park yesterday and I had to intervene three times with kids who kept pushing in and wouldn't let Littl'un take his turn on things when he was patiently queuing up. And there was no sign of the parents, probably a good thing or I would have got in an argument probably :)

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Girls with big knickers

I went to the park after school yesterday with the boys and their mates, they ranged between 1 and 8. We went in the swings which is supposed to be for kids aged under 10 to be greeted with some older school girls. I would hate to try and guess how old they were but with the language and the general attitude I would hazard they were over 10. Anyway, they were on the big swings when we first got there so we ignored them and the boys were playing and having fun. Then next time I looked the girls were sitting on the roundabout legs akimbo flashing their knickers to everyone, and they weren't little girls if you get my meaning, jesus one of them had to be about 14 stones. It wasn't very nice but they obviously thought they were the bees' knees and were giving us all a treat to be allowed to look at their chubby legs! Nice. Then the babies wanted to go on the baby swings only to be confronted with one of the girls wedged into one of them and another sitting on one which was creaking alarmingly. 2 babies with us went in the remaining swings and my littl'un stood looking beseechingly at them to let him have a go - the clue was in the name, "baby swings". I was mentally preparing myself for an argument when fatso prised herself out of the swing (it took a while) and they loped off to lounge about on something else. 

If my boys go to school and there are girls like that there I don't know what I'd do. I might have to home school them. I never swore in front of little kids or stopped them playing. And what is going on when me and the other mums who are all at least 15 years older than the girls worry about saying anything to them?! They probably had knives in their big knickers. Hell they probably had a whole cutlery set, there was room :)

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Teacher can see EVERYTHING...

It appears that Littl'un has an unholy fear of his teacher catching him doing anything naughty. He came home from school with a cake that was supposed to be for Mother's Day. When we got home it looked a bit manky so I generously said he could have it. Next time I looked round he was sitting squashed under the window stuffing the cake as fast as he could. When I asked what he was doing he said "I don't want Mrs Smith to see me!" like he really thought she would be looking through the window to check! Apparently at school they planted a seed of terror in the little mites should they attempt to eat the cakes made for their mummies! This fear of Mrs Smith works wonders, anytime he does anything naughty I threaten to phone her or tell her when I see her next and he really doesn't want that! I wish I could wield the power of a teacher, he doesn't listen to me at all!

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Gardening and ghosts

Most of the last month has involved fighting the weeds in the garden (again). It took 3 weeks but it looks lovely now. The highlight was when I was bent over weeding and heard a loud noise and then a pigeon landed on my back! I really can't have been working hard enough if it mistook me for a bird table!

Both the kids have been loving running round the garden (quite often in the buff) but Littl'un #1 has decided to start seeing things in the garden too. The other day I was in the kitchen and he started screaming his head off like he'd broken his leg. I rushed out to be told "there was a ghost all in white walking between the sheds" and he was literally terrified. I thought it might be a random carrier bag blowing in the wind, but there was nothing there. Not that I could see anyway! His imagination has gone wild recently, he's seeing things everywhere. And it seems we have ghosts upstairs and now in the garden. Lovely.

Littl'un #2 loves the garden too. His idea of heaven is to sit in the soil and throw it over his head until he looks like a soil monster. Every day. He eats it too. This may explain why he has gone off his food recently...

Rubbish blogger

Jeez I haven't posted for ages. I am sure something exciting must have happened in my life since the last post. Erm let me think...

Ah yes! The house 2 doors down was busted as a cannabis factory. They gave it away as we were all getting high in the back garden. It was VERY exciting, my neighbour phoned the rozzers who turned up in lots of vans and took the perp away in handcuffs. Now there is nothing going on really, the house is empty and unloved, even from crims.

Life sorting out 2 small boys goes on much as usual except the smaller one is getting bolshier and even though he can't speak he is doing a fine job of pointing and grunting to get what he wants, and attempting to beat his brother up. This is hilarious at the moment but I have a vision of the future and it mainly involves black eyes and fisticuffs. And the small one will be the one giving the black eyes.

We all had a super lovely day on the beach with Lady Librarian. It was so hot and the beach was lovely and we had a beach hut and everything. That may have been our holiday for the year sadly, but it was so worth it!

After 6 years we repainted the kitchen and realised just how grimy 6 years of pretty poor cleaning can make a place look. It looks lovely now and I am determined to degrime the kitchen at least once a year, not every 6!

I entered a kids' story competition which is now being judged and I veer between extreme confidence and extreme pessimism. If we win we are so going on holiday. And I may even buy new shoes! Whoo!

We met a horse who had a thing about baby buggies. The cars shooting past him were fine, the buggy was a problem. I dread to think what caused this phobia!

Bloody hell I can't remember what the hell we have been doing. The drugs bust is the news of the year so far! Oh that, and the possibility that a house down the road is also a bordello. Life in Essex is never dull...