Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Strict mothers!

Speaking of which, I will probably end up being the strictest mother on the block. My nephew is 8 and coming home from school all the boys around his age were on about what they were playing on the computer the night before. Mostly Grand Theft Auto and Call of Duty. Both of which are 18 certificates. It shocked me to be honest, all these "little" boys (they won't thank me for that! But they ARE 8!!) playing games like that - what are their parents doing?! I tell you this, my boys will not be playing things like that until they are actually the right age - but then their mates will all be on about it and my two won't have a clue what with being stuck with Disney dvds and Spongebob games! They will be pariahs! It is very hard being a parent, it's so hard to be strict and not just give in. 

And at school this afternoon, a little girl who was just walking was toddling round while her mum was oblivious to her, gossiping with her mates. She had a packet of Walkers crisps (which mine never had till much later as they are choking hazards don't you know!) and kept dropping them in the slushy dirty snow and then picking them up and eating them. It was all I could do not to rush up and stop her! If she gets sick her mum will probably go "I have no idea how she caught it". But to be honest, she probably picks up worse at home! Fags or cans of Special Brew.

Shit. I think I am a snob. No I'm not really, I'm just the Strictest Mother in Essex! Beware my children, beware!

Christmas blackmail

So in a (probably) vain attempt to get Littl'un to sleep in his own bed all night we told him that Santa wouldn't leave him any presents if he isn't in his own bed when he comes, as he'll think he isn't there. This could backfire spectacularly if he doesn't stay put. Do I then not give him his presents?! Of course not, I'm not THAT cruel! Though I may hide them for an hour or two :) This has already backfired in a way as he got all worried about his friend who has gone to his grandparents for Christmas. "How will Santa know where he is?" he asked and then "how will Santa know I have a little brother now?!" Bless, it is lovely his concern for others! It'll be a shame when he doesn't believe anymore and just tuts or grunts when he opens his very expensive computer games/consoles/mp3 players in a few years...

Monday, December 20, 2010


Littl'un #2 turned 1 on Monday last week. By Wednesday the same week he was walking. That boy wants to grow up too quick! If I don't watch him, by February he'll be trying to drive and get a girlfriend...

Friday, December 17, 2010

Spoilers part 2

So in the next episode of the program I was watching avidly (Any Human Heart if you're interested), right at the end the main character was hit by a van. It was out of the blue, really shocking, and then it ended. So to a week of wondering "did he live? was he badly hurt?" and anticipation of the next episode? No. They cut to a clip of him sitting in hospital looking chipper. I know it's based on a book and most people might have read it and know what's coming, but I didn't. It was a really good program but totally ruined by the idiot people who thought it would be a good idea to show most of the next episode at the end of the last one. Idiots.

Naked men!

So I was watching the Royal Variety last night, some of it was quite entertaining. But at the end Take That (is there anything they haven't  been on?) sang standing on a stage surrounded by loads of men wearing nude coloured pants. And everytime they bent over the camera panned from the back of the stage and we were greeted with a sea of naked bottoms!! How bizarre was that?! And Littl'un had woken up and come downstairs and I thought "what harm can the show do? It's a family entertainment show isn't it?" Apparently not. Explaining that one to him was quite interesting...

Sunday, December 05, 2010

X Factor

OMG I am SO cross about the X Factor tonight! I don't even know why I watch it, but once you start you can't switch it off! Tonight it was between Mary who is a belter of a singer and almost every week got a standing ovation and the judges couldn't hear themselves over the applause. And Cher. Who is emotionally unstable, really irritating, loves herself and it is always a toss-up if she will perform well or not. Or at all. So it came down to Simon Cowell who had the deciding vote. And basically it came down to "well Mary can cope if she goes out now and she will do well anyway" and "Cher will go mental and have a breakdown". So Cher went through. I'd love to see her face next week in the final when she doesn't win. I bet she stamps her little feet backstage and screams "but you PROMISED!" - a bit like Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

The judges have been so hypocritical this year. Firstly they want a "brilliant singer". Then scrub that, they want a "brilliant performer", the singing isn't that important. Then they want a "brilliant recording artist." Then they want "someone interesting". They really can't decide what they want. And the ones who cry and forget their words do better than the ones who bothered to learn their songs and try not to let their emotions get the better of them. Which obviously would be a Good Thing for a performer no?

And when Cher announced that she wanted to "change British music" with her irritating but she thinks it is so clever megamixes of singing and rapping, I really wanted to punch her in the face! I think my lesson is to switch off the tv and go and do something more interesting instead. And Mary should have broken down into tears, gone "oh sod this" and walked off stage. She probably would be in the final now!

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Merry f***ing Christmas!

Sorry for the cursing but really. I have just spent a fraught day trying to get the xmas tree up. This has involved:

1) 2 arguments
2) lots of shouting
3) lots of swearing
4) crying
5) some smiling
6) more swearing
7) 1 diabetic hypo attack

And this was mostly getting the lights on the tree! OMG I hate putting the lights on. And taking them off again so that they will possibly work next year too. But now it is done it does look lovely!

Friday, December 03, 2010


What is it with tv at the moment?! There is a big trend of showing the highlights of the next episode at the end of programs. Last night I was catching up and watching one of my dramas that the husband refuses to watch. Right at the end a bloke who has been a prisoner of war for over a year gets back home to be told that his wife and daughter were killed by a bomb. It was heart-rending and so sad, when he knocked on his front door and someone else answered it you knew it wasn't good. Then they cut to him screaming in agony, then a second later it goes to "and next time..." and it really spoilt the moment. The poor director spent ages building up the tension and getting to the crucial bit of the plot, and then the bloody program schedulers ruined it. Why do they think we are not to be trusted to watch the next episode without some enticement of what is to come? 

Imagine if they did it with books. You get to the end of a Harry Potter novel for instance, and there is a page at the end: "Next time in Harry Potter: he has a lot of fights, gets really angry, and Dumbledore dies and it was Snape who did it". Would you bother reading the next one?! And the worst thing is that the tv program was from a book, and the author did the screenplay, he must be screaming at the tv!