Sunday, May 31, 2009

Britain's Got Talent (and pushy mums and rubbish people)

So I only got into watching this as BB refuses to go to bed at a sensible hour and we have to watch non violent/sexual/swearing tv until he finally succumbs. And it has made me so mad. Why?

Point 1: When that little girl in the tutu was crying and really upset and overwhelmed by the whole thing, what did her mum do? Scoop her up and refuse to let her carry on?! No. She stood there pleading for her to go back up and do it again. Pushy mums anyone? Any normal mother would have refused to let their child become such a martyr to fame and fortune. I was half expecting when she didn't win the final her to throw herself on the floor and scream and kick until they "let her win".

Point 2: Sob stories. The guy with the saxophone was clearly talented, but he cried every 2 minutes. Honestly. Imagine if he just went to a normal audition to be in an orchestra, let's say. The bloke in charge says "so, can you play?" and he bursts into tears. "Next!" In all these reality shows, they all have sob stories, next year I'm going to enter with not much talent to get me through but I will have a fantastic story for the papers to feed on. "I haven't had any sleep since January 2007" perhaps, or "we have no money and I need some, thanks" - all served with plenty of tears and angsty looks down the camera.

Point 3: People with no talent at all but who think they are brilliant. Enough said. What were their parents thinking? This is a lot more prevalent in the American equivalents, you really have to wonder if they are deaf or drugged up to the eyeballs.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Tweet tweet

So it appears that Twitter has robbed me of my ability to write more than 140 characters. It is weird, I used to love blogging and thinking of things that annoy me to moan about. Now I have to think of witty concise sentences for Twitter and Facebook and that is actually harder! So I think it's time to revisit the no restrictions blog and have a rant. I think I'm also a bit worried that someone will sue me if I say anything bad about famous people, but what else is the blog for?! I only have celebrity and dirty nappies in my life. Oh and vegetables now. Rock.

So what has gotten the goat of Bookish Barbara recently?

1) Morrissey was 50! 50!!! I always thought he was like Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up. Now I have to admit that Morrissey certainly aged, he was certainly no Dorian Gray, but 50?! Really?! How did my heros get so old?

2) Having to have sneaky bbqs as you know you should invite your relatives , but really? Every single time? Apparently so. And if we are discovered, jeez the moaning!! And having to think of lame excuses not to go to theirs every time, just saying "no thanks" is never good enough. We have yet to come up with a plausible excuse that worked.

3) Bloody Britain's Got Talent. In the lack of other tv being on I have been watching this. I can tell you that, mostly, Britain Hasn't Got Talent. A few really good ones yeah, but most were good the first time for the shock value - you didn't expect that woman to sing like that, 2 fat men sticking bags up their arses (yes really) - but the second time around, no no no.

4) American Idol. Adam Lambert wuz robbed. I don't know what America thought they were doing. And having to avoid the internet for days to avoid seeing who won when it was shown in the US was annoying and I gave up and looked, thankfully this saved me from having to sit through the 2 hour finale only to be crazy angry at the result! At least he is free from having to sing that godawful song written for the winner and can do what he likes now.

5) Comebacks. All the 80s bands reforming is starting to get annoying. Why don't they just write to all the members of their fanclubs saying "we is a bit poor, could you give us some dosh? We'll come round and play in your front room for twenty quid. Cheers. xx"

6) Children pooing in their pants. Baby Babs has been nappy free for 2 whole weeks - this has been mostly incident free. But the incidents that have occurred have involved poo, lots of poo, pants, complex operations to remove pants to make the least possible mess, realising this is impossible, poo everywhere. Lovely. When asked why BB didn't ask to use the potty, expression says "because I can do it in my pants".

Aah, see I knew I could write more than 140 characters! I could have gone on...

Thursday, May 14, 2009


So I was very shocked to read that Jordan and Peter Andre are splitting up. Absolutely shocked. I was perusing the possible reasons for this unforeseen D.I.V.O.R.C.E. and I came up with a few.

1) The wedding was mostly done for publicity reasons, not your old fashioned lurve. They had a contract to stay together for so many years, do so many reality shows, have so many kids and then call it a day.
2) After failing to break America and with falling ratings back in Blighty, and short of having a terminal disease to fall back on, they hit on splitting up. And then in 6 months or so, reconciling and having another wedding - all with the wonga of OK magazine.
3) Katie/Jordan couldn't bear another day of listening to Mysterious Girl from the shower, and short of having Pete killed, went for the other option.
4) Pete finally admitted he couldn't stand big boobs or fake tan. Well not on other people anyway :)
5) They finally saw the light and couldn't live the charade anymore, and were totally fed up having cameras following them around everywhere, and are off to live in Guatamala with a few goats and stuff. The "split" takes the heat off for a while...

I am going with option 2 myself, and putting a fiver on it at the bookies! Could they be so shallow?

[Nb. these are my personal musings and please don't sue me].