Standing back to back with a prostitute. Yes indeedy. And no I wasn't standing on a street corner fighting for "my patch", I was in a pub I've been in lots of times standing in my usual spot. The pub is a little bit dodgy but not so bad you wouldn't take your dad in there, but this Saturday was a leaving do for the landlord who has finally seen sense and sold up for pastures new so it was busier than normal. Then this tall girl walks in to much amusement from the locals who gleefully told me she was the local prozzie. She then proceeded to stand right behind me (I don't think it was personal) touting for business, but personal space issues anyone? We were literally back-to-back and she was elbowing me in the back and it started to hurt the tenth time she did it. Now, not having been in this situation before, I was at a loss as to how to deal with this. Shouting "eh prostitute, get away from me you be-atch" might have seen me pitching up at the local A&E so I didn't go there. Elbowing back didn't have any effect either. Maybe if I'd undercut her she might have got the message and nicked off, or I could have sensibly asked her to move her posterior away from mine in a "we're all grown ups and you must have had a bad life" sympathy type way.
As it was, my friend who is considerably scarier than me did the job for me. Then I think the lady of the night got lucky or decided to move on as she was no more.
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