I haven't had the best of weeks. Yesterday at a routine hospital appointment to get my blood test results, I experienced the NHS "how not to act around patients" demonstration or perhaps their "let's scare our patient half to death just for a laugh" routine. Let me explain.
Step 1: When queried by patient, claim that a blood test wasn't actually done, and patient is lying.
Step 2: Some bright spark thinks to ring the lab. Gets results over the phone. Spend alot of time going "A-ha, erm, ok, a-ha" whilst frowning into the receiver. (Patient must have a clear view of this for best effect).
Step 3: Doctor puts phone down, calls for senior doctor. Both medics frown over patients notes, muttering and looking worried. (Obviously in front of patient, but not close enough to hear).
Step 4: Send random other doctor in every 5 minutes to ask patient where notes are.
Step 5: Call senior consultant out of meeting. 3 medics now repeat step 3. More shuffling of notes, frowning and occasional glances at patient.
Step 6: Senior consultant approaches patient. Demands full medical history from junior medic, while rifling notes distractedly.
Step 7: Announces "well everything is fine! Come back at 41 weeks if you haven't had it yet".
Step 8: Leave bemused and by this stage quite upset patient to it.