America!

If I didn't get such brilliant material for this blog, I would refuse to be taken out for dinner ever again. I'm starting to think it's me, the amount of freaks we encounter on a daily basis is getting ridiculous. Saturday night, we ventured out for dinner again. The restaurant was quiet, no mention of "tits!" by the main course, I started to relax. BIG mistake. A group of people showed up and were being shown to their table. They spot whoever is sat behind me, and chaos ensues...

Characters:

Group 1: Let's call him Sean, wife Brenda. Another younger couple with them, never speak, just look blankly around.
Group 2: Quietly eating their meal, let's call them Colin and Edith and their kids.

Sean: "OH MY GOD! Look who it is!! Brenda, look who it is!!"

Brenda: "OH ... MY ... GOD!!! We f'ought you was in America!! Didn't we Sean?! We f'ought they was in AMERICA!"

Sean: "Yeah that's right!"

Brenda: "Yeah we saw Barry and he said you was in AMERICA! Massachussets or somewhere beginnin' with M"

Colin: "Ah ha, ha, erm, no, we was in Somerset"

Brenda: "No!! We f'ought you was in America! Didn't we Sean? And to see you here when we f'ought you was in America!"

Colin: "Erm, no, Somerset. Got back last week. In a caravan".

Sean: "Well that's great that is, you can come round to ours tomorrow now we know you're not in America!"

Colin and Edith: "Erm .... [desperately thinking of excuses] ... yeah, maybe."

Colin: "Why don't you go and get sat down and I'll come and have a word when I've finished me dinner?"

Sean: "Yeah ok Colin, but don't be a stranger!"

Colin: "???"

It was all I could do not to turn around and go "they weren't in bloody America!! They were in SOMERSET! Now piss off!!". Then they went and sat down but bloody Brenda could still be heard chirruping "I f'ought they was in America!" every few minutes. Then every five minutes they reappeared to plague poor Colin and Edith's dinner. And ours. Honestly, you couldn't make it up.