Now I said I wouldn't swear lots about this person and I won't, but in the past couple of days work bitching with my more useful colleagues (it's the best way to get through the days) has come up with some gems:
On a general ability to help anyone. Period:
"Why don't we replace her with a cardboard cut-out. It would be more efficient and at least we could put a sign on it saying "I'm sorry there is no-one here at the moment who can help you"? "
On hearing Ms Useless is approaching a significant milestone in life:
"Well at least she's a year nearer retirement"
I am sure that crying with laughter at the Enquiry Desk would be frowned upon by the Great Librarian in the Sky, but sometimes it just has to come out.