Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I L.O.V.E. my new doctor's

I finally registered with a doctor today. I haven't been registered with a doctor close to where I live for nearly 3 years so I fully expect to be beset with some horrible illness now I have somewhere to go. My elderly neighbour recommended them, on the basis that they hadn't killed her yet. I failed 3 times at picking up new patients' forms and in the end had to beg them to post them to me. Today I went there clutching my filled in forms and I walked there in the rain. Yes I did. In the rain. Go me!

The minute I walked through their doors their computers died. Is it just me?! As it was still raining I said I'd wait and see if they could be fixed. As I was sat steaming quietly in the oh so lovely waiting room I noticed lots of things that make me heart my new doctors. They have an electronic sign that announces appointments. It makes a binging sound so everyone remembers to look up and then the sign says: "Mrs Smith! Doctor Brown! Room 1, and have a nice day now!". Ok I made up the exclamation marks and the over familiarity, but that's what it felt like. The receptionists all smiled and they even had a plant with an amusing note stuck on it. It said: "Hello. Please don't water me any more, I have plenty. Thankyou, Drowning Plant".

The people in the waiting room all seemed to be kindly looking elderly gentlemen who all looked very healthy. Cocoon anyone? Ooh apart from one man who looked a bit pale and a sly glimpse at the letter he was clutching explained it - he was in for the snip. Ouch!

I went to look at the doctor's my sister-in-law is registered with which is nearer than my new doctor's, but seriously? It looked like a crack den from the outside. And the inside wasn't much better. It was a dodgy terraced house and some of the upstairs windows had those metal screens they put on drug dens they've closed down. For the extra 10 minute walk it's worth it for smiley nurses, a talking sign, and over-watered plants! And the entertaining sight of men's faces when they know they are about to have their little willies messed with! And miracle of miracles their computers came back on and I was allowed to join the hallowed ranks.

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