So apart from a report that Tom Cruise spent £10,000 on some pasta at the weekend, it’s all been a bit quiet on the Cruise/Holmes front. I said I wasn’t bothered, but I want celebrity gossip! In Britain, the most exciting thing we have is that Brad Pitt has allegedly moved here, and in Big Brother they’re having REAL SEX (just like the Germans). Ooh, is that what it takes to get people to watch now? I haven’t watched any of this series, they should be left in the house without any TV coverage, it would be great. Celebrity Love Island? Send them all off to Fiji with pretend cameras (ideally made out of cereal packet boxes, they’re all so thick they wouldn’t notice) and leave them to it. Obviously the greedy tv executives wouldn’t make so much money, but I should think the ordinary person would be happy to pay a small fee for removal of the C list celeb that should cover loss of advertising expenses. Anyone with me?