Everyone is obsessed with my demise!

The other night I had to leave the house to make a short emergency rescue for Lady Librarian who was silly enough to come back from her hols on a Sunday where a) there were the usual engineering works so no trains and b) a tube strike so no tubes either. Luckily for her she managed to get about the only tubes actually running to get close enough for me to pick her up. When I left the house both  boys were sound asleep and Mr Babs was rubbing his hands at the thought of half an hour to himself. When we got back it was bedlam. Both boys were up, the little one was screaming his head off and Mr Babs looked very relieved we were back!

Later when peace was restored, he said that he was convinced that something had happened to me as they both woke up at the same time and couldn't be consoled. It is nice he cares, but honestly! I can't leave the house even when they are all asleep without chaos breaking out!! And why is everyone obsessed with me dying?!

Helloooo ladies!

Mr Babs has been teaching Littl'un all he knows about wooing women. It basically goes along the lines of:

*Wink*

then

"You're coming home with me"

Sadly Littl'un has it down better than his dad! And luckily he never tried it on me or we might never have made it past date one!

Royal weddings

So the other day there was an announcement that Prince William had proposed to his girlfriend of about 50 years and they would be getting married next year. Lovely. You would have thought that then they would have moved on to other stuff that was happening in the world. But oh no. This announcement meant the tearing up of the tv schedules so rabid reporters could spend the day going over and over and over the "exciting" news. I was fed up of hearing about it by lunchtime. They even cancelled Bargain Hunt! I bet the Queen wasn't happy! By 10pm the news had a 45 minute special before mentioning any, erm, actual news. It was totally ridiculous. They had reporters camped outside everywhere that had a tiny bit of significance to the story. I was waiting for "Mr Smith who once served William in Greggs" to come on screen to tell us the Prince's favoured choice of pasty.

It is so hypocritical too, we moan about the Royals, how much they cost us, and then there the press are fawning over them like bloody stalkers! And how much is this wedding going to cost? We're all broke, having our money wrested from us so we have less and less money to buy things like nappies every month and they expect us to be happy for the ridiculous amounts they are going to spend? They should get married in a registry office in Clapham, that'd show the rest of us how "down" they are with their public!

And that was only the engagement annoucement. God help us when it's the actual wedding...

Pretend Jacob

Littl'un announced yesterday that he has a new friend. He is called "Pretend Jacob". This is a bit odd. I am all for imaginary friends, I'd even set a place at the table for one, but the way Littl'un calls him "pretend" means that he knows he isn't real too! Isn't that the point of imaginary friends, you think they are real?! The poor Fox has been relegated now Pretend Jacob has turned up. Pretend Jacob has more manners though, it appears that the Fox does all the naughty stuff like eating all the food and behaving badly (and he is even blamed for farting!) - while Pretend Jacob gets to do all the fun stuff. Although he has to live in the loft. I wonder if Littl'un will develop a  different "friend" for all the different bits of his personality? Looks like we're off to visit "Pretend Child Psychologist"!

Money money money

I currently have something of a bidding war going on for a crib set I listed on Ebay. It is new as I bought it and didn't have a crib (doh!) but still. The higher the bids go the more paranoid I get that they think it is something it isn't. I don't want a repeat of the woman who hated my favourite maternity top! What if I post the set to the winner and they thought they were getting a crib as well?! For the price they all seem willing to pay I wouldn't be surprised if they expect a baby as well...it is lovely to have money rolling in for old stuff, but man it's scary too!!

Yes Sir! At once Sir!

After school yesterday I was in the kitchen just starting to think about dinner when there was a shout from the lounge:

"Is my dinner ready yet?!"
"Erm, not yet!"
pause...followed by a long suffering sigh...then...
"Have you even STARTED it yet?"

Young Master Babs. Aged 3. God knows what he will be like when he's 13!

Rainy Mondays

The one drawback of having kids of school age is the school run. It is almost guaranteed to be raining on both trips in the autumn/winter. Today it is torrential. If I didn't love my free 3 hours so much I would be phoning in sick for Littl'un!

Wagner!

Talking of all sorts, on X Factor this week, Wagner was a hoot again! It is infuriating my relatives that he gets through each week (as does Ann Widdecombe on Strictly) - and Cheryl was SO patronising shaking her head as he got through and her boring girls didn't. Do they not realise how entertaining he is? And in that catsuit he was Justin Hawkins' dad!! Go Wagner!!

Freeloaders

I advertised a baby seat on Freecycle today, it wasn't good enough to sell really but I thought somebody might make use of it. Freecycle is supposed to be a way of passing things on that you don't need anymore to someone who can make good use of it. Like I did with the giant trampoline. For a while. Anyway I got one response from someone who said they would really like the seat for their baby - and I immediately suspected ulterior motives! This person is on the site quite alot, they offered a dead cactus the other month - and the impression I got of them was not of someone that had just had a baby. More a loner who never goes out, is quite old, and likes collecting things (like dead plants). So I'm thinking "what do I do? do I let them have it?" - but really, what do I care what they do with it? They will come and collect it and take it off my hands, and it saves me a trip to the tip! Even if they are a weirdo who wants the seat for their pet poodle, hey, it takes all sorts!

Levellers

I was super excited to hear on the radio the other day that one of my all time favourite bands were touring again, the Levellers are doing a Levelling the Land anniversary tour next March. My initial response was to leap on the pc and try and get some tickets. But then the reality of the situation sank in. They are all 20 years older now, as am I, and it really won't be the same. You know when you are trying to relive something and it just isn't the same and ruins the original too! I first saw them at the Guildhall in Preston and they were brilliant, then again in Birmingham (narrowly missing getting on the bus to Simply Red who were also playing in Birmingham by mistake) which was also good. I used to have a crush on the lead singer, but he is probably quite fat now and has kids and he will bring them onstage at some point, and all my youthful dreams will be crushed. And then there's the problem of going to a gig with tall people standing in front of you, or snogging people snogging in front of you. Or trying to see the band at all. I think I am just too old and I should just stick the cds on and tie-dye  a t-shirt for the occasion...

Librarian in fine shocker!

In yet another gripe about our bleeding public library, I realised all our books were overdue today, I now owe almost £4!! That is coz Littl'un insists on taking home about 25 books every time we go. I never get overdue books! But now they don't stamp the books telling you when they are due, the machine that issued the books had run out of paper so we didn't get a receipt telling me when they were due, and they also don't email you to tell you the books are overdue. Damn them. Is it worth me appealing?!

Owning up

A ha! We have the culprit. Littl'un announced yesterday: "I am the fox"

I knew it!!

Child free weekend

So for the first time ever Littl'un went to spend the weekend at his grandparents. He said he wanted to go, I was convinced that at the last minute he would turn round and refuse to go. He didn't, he barely even waved as he was transported off in the car, so bothered was he at leaving his mother behind. He spent two days being thoroughly spoilt and said he didn't want to come home. For our part, we got our first uninterrupted lie-in since he was born, his little brother obligingly slept in too, and we all had a very peaceful non-shouty weekend. Baby #2 revelled in being able to crawl around doing whatever he wanted without being told he couldn't, I revelled in being able to sit on the sofa for longer than 2 minutes without being forced to get up, and Mr Babs was much the same as usual really. It really made me think, not that I don't want Littl'un around, and we did miss him, but kids that can actually speak are a lot more trouble than ones that can't. If you could stop them growing any bigger than about 18 months that would  be lovely, when they are all cute and saying "mama" and a few other words, but they can't actually argue with you. Is that possible?!