We had a fire safety check yesterday, our lovely local firemen offered to do it and we'd get new smoke alarms so why not? And they came in a fire engine, Littl'Un was SOOOO excited! They offered to let him sit in it, he refused and ran away "because he didn't want the nee naws to be switched on" bless him! He doesn't like loud noises.
Anyway, this "check" was basically a fireman filling in a questionnaire about fire safety. Thinking back, it could have been done over the internet, he really didn't need to be there. It was quite funny really. He spent the most time on getting me to sign an indemnity form in case they broke anything, so I couldn't sue them. Then we had a discussion about the new smoke alarms we were having installed. "The batteries last for 10 years!" he said proudly, then went back to his questionnaire. "So, how often do you change or replace the batteries on your smoke alarm, madam?" he said. "Isn't that irrelevant now?" I said. "Erm, yes", he said.
"So do you have an escape plan in action?" he said. "Erm, kind of," said I, "our upstairs windows don't open because we have no keys for them". "Oh", he said, "well, if you ever do have a fire just make sure you ring us and stay in the bedroom". Thanks then! I was sure he'd advise us to sort the windows out, but no.
"So do you ever block your doors up with boxes?" he said. "Er, noooo," I said, a mite confusedly. "Oh that's ok then, a lot of people tend to block their doors up with boxes and stuff" he said. "A lot of people?" - surely he just means hoarders?
So really it wasn't much cop, but we have got shiny new smoke alarms and a photo of a fire engine minus Littl'Un who is really going to regret that later!