Sunday, January 14, 2007

Miami WHAT?!

Man we made a HUGE mistake last night - we watched the new film version of Miami Vice. Seriously, it is one of the worst films I've ever seen. Not quite on the par of Monster's Ball, but really not far off. After the first 20 minutes I had to ask Mr Barbara if they were talking in code or Vietnamese or something as I hadn't understood a word of it. To save anyone else from the horror of having to watch it - not that I think you discerning types would even consider it but I have a husband who likes films with guns and the possibility of boobs in them - I will summarise the plot for you:

Crockett: "The DCA want the ABC to hunt down the CUD about the HOS"

Tubbs: "The HOS yeah?"

[- both look moody and macho -]

Crockett: "There's a meet and greet at twenty hundred hours at the LDI with the FFI. Gotta go"

Tubbs: [Looks moody and fiddles with a big gun]

[Cut to random sex scene with one of them and girlfriend]

[Intersperse shots of scary Colombian looking men with guns and drugs, shots of driving fast on freeways in fast cars, change to fast boat scene, insert glamorous bad girl who falls for one of the cops - more sex - lots more moody looking shots - big fight scene. All bad guys die. Bad girl goes off into the sunset. Make sure script is peppered with lots of random letters and sentences. If no words, replace with moody look and gun. The end]

1 comment: