Daytime tv

After spending the month of January mainly on the sofa, I can now class myself as a world expert on daytime television. And in a phrase? It sucks. When I was at university we used to spend a lot of our free time in the day watching tv (to avoid writing essays natuarally) and back then it seemed much more interesting. My schedule most days? Well after the first week I dumped the Jeremy Kyle Show for Homes under the Hammer which I do love. Watching people buy houses at auction and then paint them in magnolia holds a strange fascination. Then it's over to This Morning which has been strangely miserable of late, people's dying wishes, post-natal depression, fat people being miserable, thin people being miserable etc etc. Then Loose Women which I HATE but can't switch off. Then the news. Then 60 Minute Makeover which I also hate. Then Daytime Cooks which makes me mad when they say "are you stuck for what to make for tea tonight? Don't worry we've got some great recipes today that you can make later! First - take a live crab ... " Uh huh? I have a whole tankful of crabs in the kitchen just in case I feel like making them for tea. Then it's Countdown just to see what the hell Carol Vorderman is wearing - her dresser must really really hate her that's all I am saying. Then it's Deal or No Deal - yey! The highlight of my day (sad I know) and it does spend too much time nowadays "getting to know" the contestants, who cares?! Not me. They think they are the stars now, when clearly it's still Noel (and Mr Blobby the banker).

And that's my daytime tv fix over. My brain is mush, and I'm off to the kitchen to stun that crab.

Maybe if you don't have any pressing work to do, the lure of daytime tv lessens. There could be a whole PhD in this you know: "This Morning +/- impending deadline = interest level".

Why are there no films on in the afternoon anymore? There isn't even Murder She Wrote. Cable tv has a lot to answer for, even with 600 channels, there still isn't anything on! If Baby Babs doesn't show up soon I'm going to have to find a new hobby, writing to the tv program commissioners might be one!