The story of Easter

as told to a bunch of 3 year olds at pre-school by a mad woman...

"Jesus was a lovely man. But he liked to tell people what they should do. So all his enemies decided he should DIE! That's it, pull sad faces everyone! Have a palm cross and a chicken!"

Don't have nightmares son...

Sitting waiting wishing

Yesterday I had to wait in all afternoon for the tv man. If you aren't in when they come, they immediately whack a £10 charge on your account. So of course we were in. They didn't bother to show up. When I phoned them I was told "oh it turns out your problem is affecting loads of people in your area and we will be sending a fix to the boxes soon, and we cancelled the engineer". "So you couldn't have phoned me to tell me not to stay in all afternoon with 2 small children?" "Erm, I suppose we should have".

!!!!!

I've seen it all now!

So opposite our local primary school there is an Iceland. I was there just before it opened yesterday to get yet some more hot cross buns for Baby Babs #1 (he will look like one soon). Anyways, amongst the people also waiting for it to open was a woman who was unremarkable apart from the fact that she was wearing her pyjamas and slippers. Honestly. She must have got out of bed, dropped her kids off at school, gone to Iceland, and then gone back to bed. And they weren't even just sloppy pants you wear round the house, which she would have got away with, they were clearly pink and flanelette. Lazy cow! What kind of example is she to her kids?! Some Tesco stores have banned people going in wearing their pyjamas (and skimpy vest wearing/topless men, and penguin suits) (not really, I was lying about the penguin suits) - so she was obviously limited in her choice of shop. How long does it take to throw on a pair of trousers? She could have left her pyjama top on under her coat - I suppose at least she wasn't wearing her dressing gown too...

The perils of being in charge!

Oh the pitfalls of being a mother. Baby Babs #1 is getting very bossy recently, and he loves going over to his aunty's house, I think he loves it more than being at home. I would too, he gets spoilt, to do what he wants, and never gets told off! Unlike being at home. So the other day he was supposed to go over there, but events got in the way and he couldn't go. I explained what had happened, said I was sorry but I couldn't do anything about it, and the reaction? A 3 year old in a mega sulk followed by "I don't love you anymore mummy". !!! Oh the heartbreak!! Evil little sod! But thankfully half an hour later he reconsidered and told me he still loved me really! Honestly. Whenever I have to tell him off I can see his brain thinking "you're no fun, I'd rather go and see my aunt". Whoever said parents can't be friends to their kids too was right, but it is hard work sometimes!

Neurotic mothers...

I was going through some old photos of Baby Babs #1 when he was the same age Baby Babs #2 is now. And I am sure #1 smiled alot more than #2 does. Why? What am I doing differently? Is #2 feeling neglected as I have to look after #1 too?! Or is he just genetically more miserable, more like his father?!

There's a flaw in the plan somewhere...

So we have one of those fancy tv boxes where you can record programs and watch them at your leisure. It's totally improved my life, I love it, all the series we watch are recorded automatically and you can fastforward through all the adverts, it's a marvellous invention. But recently it's gone a bit loco. So the engineer came out to look at it. "You need a new box" he says. "But what about all the programs I've recorded?" say I. "You will lose them" says the man. Right.

So they invent these fancy boxes and can't transfer the programs over if necessary? We are going to have to watch all our programs and then call them back again to replace the box. Hurray.

Dead/idiot celebs

Is there any male celebrity/sports star who hasn't had numerous affairs? So far this year there's been Tiger Woods, John Terry, Ashley Cole, Vernon Kay and now little Mark Owen from Take That! I don't know how he got away with it what with all the obsessive Take That fans stalking him. But what is it with these men? Is it that once you have everything - big house, money, cars, girlfriend/wife and/or kids - life gets dull and you have to fill it with how much you can get away with? Is it like cat and mouse with the tabloids?!

And if they aren't all having lurid affairs, they are all dying young by being stupid or careless . Step forward Kristian Digby, Corey Haim, Heath Ledger...

They might as well just report celebs who die old of natural causes, have blissfully happy marriages, and no scandal at all. But where would be the fun in that?!

Blog interview

If you're interested, there's a bit more about me here:

http://bloginterviewer.com/music/ohh-dont-get-me-started-bookish-barbara

Oh and the irony, me an aspiring proofreader and they spell my link wrong! It's OOH not OHH - it makes a difference you know :)

I give up!

So in the news today they say the government are thinking about making it compulsory for dog owners to take out insurance in case their dog attacks someone. This is mental. Not only is it penalising everyone for the small minority of idiots who have dangerous dogs or who use them for intimidating people, it is also possibly the stupidest idea I've heard in a long time. We don't have a dog, but Mr Babs and now Baby Babs are quite keen and all we need is more expense related to owning a pet. And like in the world of car insurance, the ones who are dangerous, idiots, morons, or worse are exactly the ones who won't bother to get any insurance. So what exactly is the point?! Surely it is up to the police/rspca to deal with stupid people with pets. In exactly the same way it is up to the police to deal with people with knives or guns. They aren't suggesting that when people go to buy kitchen knives they have to take out insurance just in case they decide to stab someone with it are they?!

Honestly.

Bad influence

Littl'un was playing imaginary train journeys at the weekend, he got on the train (beanbag) and I asked him where he was going?

"Only the bookies" he said gleefully.

I really hope he doesn't come out with this at school! Imagine the shame. It's all his father's fault.

Men!

Hubby is famously unsociable and it is more than my patience is worth to try and force him to do anything anymore, hence we have no social life. Yesterday my friend asked us to meet her for a coffee in town, only a coffee, not a dinner dance or a weekend in a cottage in the Yorkshire Dales. Typically he refused. So we went anyway. It was super lovely, and when I got back he had hoovered the entire house! Result. I forgot this happens, he refuses to do something that might be a teeny bit fun, I go and do it anyway, and the minute we are gone he feels guilty and tries to make up with housework. I'm doing this every weekend now, even if it's an imaginary friend I'm having coffee with (we can meet up with littl'uns ghost next week) :)

Kids!

Littl'un was upstairs having a wee. I heard him talking animatedly and then saying "bye bye! bye bye!".

When he came downstairs I asked him who he was talking to?

"Only the ghost," he chirped. And I believe he was!

Then this morning when he was still asleep he said "I don't want to tidy up!". Do you think I have been emphasising this point somewhat in the daytime?!? He's dreaming about being told off! No wonder he has befriended the local ghosts!

Save 6 Music!

How can the Beeb even consider closing down 6 Music?

It is the only radio station on the planet that regularly plays Shed Seven and for that alone it should be saved!