[Sorry this is probably an angry ranty post, ignore if you like!]
I am SO sick of not having any money. Every month the prices of food, bills, running a car etc etc go up and up and the money hubby brings in doesn't change every month. It is getting ridiculous. I am so sick of never being able to treat the boys, we had to think long and hard about taking Littl'un to the cinema which he really wants to do as he's never been before. It only costs £1.25 on a Saturday morning! And yes, I know it's all self-inflicted. I gave up work to have kids, if I was working full time we'd be fine. But I'm not. And if I was, all our money would go on childcare. Thinking long term, it's only for a few years, in 3 years Littl'un #2 will be in full-time school and I can go back to work. But then I've got to try and get a term-time only, school hours job and there aren't many of them around. I can't go back to being a librarian easily, unless I find a school librarian job.
I have no idea how my parents coped, and my mum isn't around to ask. When we were kids we went on holidays to Cornwall for 2 weeks every year, and got ice creams when we wanted, and I don't remember ever being turned down when I asked for something. Maybe my dad had a side job as a hitman or something! Or maybe they budgeted better than I seem to be able to. We barely get to the end of the month before running out of money. And that's just buying food. And beer for hubby but he can't give everything up! We never go out anymore and the likelihood of a holiday in the next 5 years is very remote.
It's just so miserable. I don't want my boys' main memory of being young being asking for things and being told "we don't have enough money" constantly. Most of our money goes on the mortgage and then bills which are going up constantly, soon I'm going to throw the gas cooker out and cook on a bonfire outside. And we are keeping the car going at the moment but that might have to go too, and then we'd never have the cash to buy another one. Crap. Maybe I should start a job as an online psychic or something. Something I can do from home. What is the most money in?
Sorry for moaning. I feel much better now. I'm going to go and spend 50p on some sweets for the kid!