Nigella Smug Lady

Against my better judgment I watched another episode of the latest Nigella Lawson cookery programs this week where she tries to create lovely meals in about 5 minutes. My god she is smug. She is so smug she has created a whole new level of smugness. She has the perfect kitchen, perfectly stocked pantry, a freezer full of lovely things and can clearly afford to buy all the food that saves her so much time when she is cooking. Her kids have smug friends, she has smug friends. Everyone and everything is smug smug smug! Even the cutlery.

Smug doesn't even cut it with Nigella. She needs a whole new word.

How about Smugella?!

Budding librarian

Baby Babs joined the library this week. I was so proud! I have been putting it off for months, but when we finally got there I realised how much I have missed my local library. It was great! When I was rich (before Baby Babs) I used to just buy books with abandon, but nothing can beat the atmosphere and smell of the public library (not wee from tramps, more musty books!). He got his own card with a crocodile on it, and he borrowed 10 books and got a free dvd for a week! He chose Finding Nemo and was very happy with his choice. He really likes a pop up picture book of a farm, and I get to moo and baa and pretend to be farm animals so we're both quite happy really. It's just like being a law librarian in some ways...

Is it me?

I am so mad and am starting to feel like a stalker which is really pissing me off. Get this. In December 2006 Mr Babs asked me to find out if a series he remembered watching on the bbc was out on dvd. I emailed the bbc shop and they replied saying as far as they were aware it wasn't, but that I could write to the Commissioning Editor (they don't do emails) for further details. So I did. In January. Then in April with an sae as they hadn't replied. They still haven't. So after a while I emailed the lady who replied to my initial enquiry to see if she could help, or even tell me if it was usual for a response to take so long. No reply. So after a few more months I got peeved again and emailed again - this time to a generic bbc shop address, just in case the lady had left. And yet again today I found myself emailing AGAIN and being quite rude this time.

How can a public service have such shoddy enquiry services?! I expected an initial letter thanking me for my enquiry and saying they would get back to me as soon as possible, then a response. Hah! I have got nada. As a proud librarian, I think leaving 24 hours without responding to someone I am helping is poor customer service. And I never just don't bother to reply. I know for a fact that this program isn't about to come out on dvd, but I want it in writing. I have wasted 3 stamps, 3 envelopes, and Mr Babs asks me almost every day (now in a very wistful voice) if we've had a letter. I could fake one just to keep him happy but it's the principle now. I suspect the person who checks the emails at the beeb chuckles and tells all their colleagues "ooh we've got another email from the crazy lady" and they all fall about laughing. But I won't give up. Any advice for how to get a response though?! Why they couldn't just write a little letter "thanking me for my interest but saying that there aren't any plans to release the program in the near future", I'll never know.

And Jessops haven't got back to me either. Customer services has gone downhill since I gave up work, that's for sure.

Yours, serial letter of complaint writer. Essex.

Patronising, sexist and rude all in one go...

I just met the World's Most Patronising Man. He knocked at the door and when I answered (against my better judgment) said "I'm doing some building work up the road, here's my leaflet, if you could pass it on to your husband dear" and walked off! I was so shocked I laughed out loud. Sexist git. As Lady Librarian said, I should have said "but I'm gay, shall I pass it on to my partner?". I thought the days of assumptions like that were long gone. What if I was recently widowed, or divorced, or had no man but had used my best friend's sperm to get my baby?! I put his leaflet straight in the bin. Horrible man.

Bigger willy?

If I get one more email in my spam box asking if I want a bigger penis I might scream! Can these stupid spammers not tell I am a lady?! Or maybe they think I want to be a man? Bloody viagra adverts get me too. Why can't I get spam saying "would you like more chocolate in your life?" or "how to make your man do household chores".

It's all so sexist.